When I finally decided to have a baby, several things happened. Pregnant women and babies appeared everywhere. It's like when you're eyeing a specific car and suddenly see it on every road—moms and babies are omnipresent. Sex also got weird, not in a fun way. I had spent so much effort avoiding pregnancy that switching to “trying to make a baby!” felt different. Some women get pregnant easily. (We call my friend Marianne, “Fertile Myrtle.” If she even looks at her husband, she’s pregnant.) Many do not.

You’re Having a Baby—Now What?

You know that the struggle did end for us, and it ended in joy. I hope that is the case for you, too. Very sincerely.

Whether it’s the old-fashioned way, IVF, surrogacy, or adoption, let's say you’re having a baby! How exciting—and how scary. There’s plenty of fun in the lead-up to the big arrival—baby showers, shopping for adorable baby stuff. People always say “everything changes,” but until it happens, you have no idea just how true that is.

You might recall that as a second-year medical resident, living apart from my husband wasn't working for me (even if it seemed fine for him!). So, I made an unconventional move and asked my residency advisor at Stanford to help me transfer to Vanderbilt. Usually, this sort of transfer doesn't happen, but I asked anyway. Everyone was incredibly supportive. Amazing! I moved to Nashville to be with him, and we bought a house and got a dog!

Phew, I thought, I'm catching back up...

I stared at my 28-year-old friend Daphne as she collapsed onto her couch, kicking off her heels with relief. She glanced at her phone and pulled up some questions she had for me. Her mind buzzed with questions, insecurities, and doubts, each one jostling for space in her exhausted brain. Should I? Or, shouldn't I? The question loomed over her like a dark cloud.

Growing up, Daphne had absorbed the cultural expectations for young women like a sponge. It was an almost impossible checklist: finish school, get a great job you love, find a partner, move in together, maybe buy a place, and then? Maybe it's time for a baby. Somewhere in between, she was supposed to get a dog, a cat, or at least some plants and attend all her friends' weddings and baby showers. She’d been dutifully ticking off these boxes but now felt that she was running out of steam.

In the final part of this series, we turn to a concept that has transformed how I approach my life: redefining success and satisfaction. As women, we often find ourselves chasing ideals that have been imposed on us by society, our upbringing, or even our own internal expectations. We feel the pressure to “have it all,” to excel in every aspect of life—work, family, relationships, health, and more. But the truth is, the version of success we’ve been taught to pursue often leaves us feeling depleted, unfulfilled, and, at times, like we’re failing. The antidote? Redefining what success and satisfaction truly mean to you.

Part 2: The Power of Relationships and Support Systems

In the journey toward creating a balanced, fulfilling life, one of the most important lessons I’ve learned is that you can’t do it all alone. Behind every successful person is a community—whether it’s a close-knit family, supportive friends, or professional mentors. These relationships provide not only emotional support but also practical assistance when life gets overwhelming.

In Part 2 of this series, we’ll explore the role of relationships and support systems in navigating the complexities of life. I’ll share some of my own experiences in building a support network, both personally and professionally, and how these connections became the cornerstone of my success and well-being.

A Big Sister’s Guide to Working Womanhood: The Early Journey

In today’s world, the idea of “having it all”—a thriving career, a fulfilling personal life, and time for self-care—often feels like chasing a mirage. As women, we face enormous pressure to succeed professionally while managing the demands of home and family life. But what does it really take to balance these two powerful forces without losing yourself in the process?

We've explored the different meanings of success and the shift from chasing external achievements to finding deep, personal satisfaction. Now, let's dive into how to integrate these concepts into your daily life. It's about weaving success and satisfaction together to create a holistic and fulfilling existence. 

Let’s talk about satisfaction. As I’ve navigated my own journey, I’ve come to realize that chasing traditional success isn’t the be-all and end-all. What really matters is finding deep, personal satisfaction. 

Success. We hear that word all the time, but what does it actually mean? Is it the corner office? A big bank account? A happy family? To wrap my brain around this, I decided to ask five friends. Their answers were all over the map and got me thinking about my own idea of success and how personal it really is.