Concessions: Finding Balance Through Conscious Choices

Choices - Part 3

This is the final part of our three-part series on managing life’s demands. We’ve talked about picking your plates and embracing the freedom to make new choices. Now, let’s dive into a concept many of us struggle with—concessions. The idea of “giving something up” often carries a negative connotation, but what if we reframe it? Concessions aren’t just about loss; they’re about creating balance and finding mutual benefit in our decisions.

Redefining Concessions: Not a Loss, But a Strategic Choice

It’s easy to see concessions as setbacks, as if giving something up always means losing out. But let’s shift that perspective. Concessions aren’t just about what you surrender—they’re about what you gain in return. It’s about finding a balance that works for you, allowing you to keep spinning the plates that matter most without sacrificing your well-being.

Making a concession is often a strategic choice that reflects your current priorities. It’s about making decisions that bring benefits, even if it means letting go of something else. This mindset shift can help you see concessions not as failures, but as necessary steps in your journey.

Daniela’s Story: A Concession for the Greater Good

Take Daniela, for example. She was a powerhouse—a high-powered Ivy League lawyer who became the youngest partner at her prestigious New York City firm. Her career was on an unstoppable trajectory, and she was set on becoming the top rainmaker at her firm.

But then life happened. Daniela got married, and soon after, she welcomed twins into her life. Suddenly, the late nights and constant client dinners that once thrilled her began to feel like a burden. She missed her children, and the thought of being away from them so often gnawed at her.

After some serious soul-searching, Daniela realized that she needed a change. She made the difficult decision to step away from her role as the firm’s rainmaker—a role that had defined her career—and transitioned into the position of financial partner. This new role offered a more predictable schedule, fewer after-hours commitments, and, most importantly, allowed her to be present for her family.

To some, this might seem like a concession, a step back. But for Daniela, it was a choice that provided mutual benefit—both for her career and her family. She didn’t see it as giving up; she saw it as aligning her life with what mattered most to her at that time.

You Can’t Do It All, But You Can Choose What Matters

We all want to do everything—to be everything to everyone. But the truth is, you can’t. And that’s okay. The key is to pick the things that matter most and focus your energy there.

Here’s an example from my own life. I was passionate about my kids attending a co-op preschool, a place where they could be kids, get messy, and explore. But there was a catch: The school required parents to work one day a week. At the time, I was building my medical practice, and balancing both seemed impossible. But instead of giving up on the co-op, I made a choice. I rearranged my schedule, so Tuesdays became my day away from work. I focused all my work commitments on the other six days, allowing me to be fully present with my kids on Tuesdays.

This wasn’t about doing it all—it was about choosing what mattered most at that moment. I conceded the idea of working every day of the week, but in return, I gained precious time with my children during their early years.

You Will Make Mistakes—And That’s Okay

No matter how carefully we plan, we’re going to make mistakes. We’ll make choices that don’t pan out as we hoped. But here’s the thing—mistakes aren’t the end of the world. They’re opportunities to learn, refine our choices, and keep moving forward.

Take Marianne, for example. Marianne was an executive at Yahoo, juggling the demands of a high-powered job with the realities of motherhood. She realized she was missing out on her son’s life while spending hours commuting up and down the 101. So, Marianne made a choice and left her job to pursue part-time consulting, but when that became too much—because, let’s face it, part-time is rarely part-time—she made another choice.

Marianne enrolled in a bakery school, pursuing a long-held passion for baking. She was incredibly talented and soon started a customized cake and cupcake business. It was a hit. She even bought an old USPS truck, fitted it out, and started selling cupcakes at concerts and parks—this was before the food truck revolution, mind you. Her business took off, but soon, it began consuming her life in much the same way her corporate job had.

So, Marianne made another choice. She shut down the business because it was no longer fun and was taking too much time away from what truly mattered—her family. She pivoted once again, focusing on working with the educational foundation of her kids’ school district. She spent the next ten years there, gaining a deep understanding of what schools were looking for in college admissions. Eventually, she opened a college counseling business, which has since flourished.

If you’d asked Marianne years ago, as she sat in traffic commuting to Yahoo, she probably would have laughed if she’d ever imagined herself as a successful college counselor. But her journey is a testament to the power of making choices, learning from mistakes, and remaining open to constant evolution.

The Power of Constant Evolution

Life is less about sticking to one rigid path and more about constantly evolving based on your experiences, priorities, and goals. Each choice you make is an opportunity to pivot, to reassess, and to grow.

Remember, you’re not giving things up—you’re making room for what truly matters. Each concession you make is a strategic decision that reflects your current priorities and long-term goals. And as your life evolves, so too should your choices.

Embrace the Journey: Choices Shape Your Path

As we wrap up this series, it’s clear that life is a series of choices—some small, some life-altering. Balance may be a myth, but conscious decisions allow us to navigate our responsibilities and passions with grace. Whether it’s redefining our priorities or making what might seem like concessions, the key is recognizing that these are not setbacks. They are strategic decisions that align with our evolving values and goals.

Mistakes will happen, but each choice is an opportunity to pivot and grow. Life is less about perfection and more about progress, fueled by the freedom to choose again and again. So embrace the journey, knowing that your choices shape your unique path. Keep spinning the plates that matter, make conscious decisions, and trust that every step you take is leading you toward a life that reflects your true self.