Choices Are What You Make Them, and Then You Make Some More

Choices Part 2

This is Part 2 of a three-part series on navigating life’s many demands. In Part 1, we talked about picking your plates—identifying the core priorities in your life. Today, we’re diving into the freedom and fear that come with making choices. We’ll explore how to embrace the freedom in your decisions, even when fear tries to creep in, and how to move forward when it’s time to make another choice.

Freedom and Fear in Choices

Every choice we make carries a dual nature: freedom and fear. The freedom comes from knowing you have the power to shape your life according to your values and desires. The fear stems from the possibility of making the wrong choice. But what if we flipped that perspective? Instead of being paralyzed by fear, what if we saw every choice as an opportunity to create the life we want? Here’s the thing: Most decisions aren’t irreversible. If something doesn’t work out, you can choose again. This mindset isn’t about reckless decision-making; it’s about recognizing that life is full of possibilities and that it’s okay to change your mind.

Christina's Story: Embracing the Freedom to Choose Again

Let’s talk about Christina. Christina had a knack for turning dreams into reality. In sunny Southern California, she built her wedding planning business from the ground up, becoming the go-to planner for stunning galas. Her weekends were a whirlwind of bachelorette parties, rehearsal dinners, and picture-perfect ceremonies. Christina thrived in this hectic environment, orchestrating every detail with finesse.

Then, she met Adam. They fell in love, got married, and soon Christina was holding their first child in her arms. Suddenly, the demands of wedding planning clashed with her new role as a mother. Late nights and weekends that once felt exhilarating now felt like a tug-of-war with her family life. Christina adored her child and cherished her time with Adam, and balancing it all became overwhelming.

One Thursday evening, as she prepped for another big wedding weekend, she looked at her baby sleeping peacefully and felt a pang of guilt. The spark she once felt for her work was dimming, replaced by a longing to be more present with her family. Christina realized she needed to reevaluate her priorities. The business she had poured her heart into now felt like a burden.

An unexpected conversation with a friend opened a new door. Her friend mentioned a part-time executive assistant role that might offer Christina the flexibility she craved. Intrigued and desperate for change, Christina decided to explore this new path. It was a significant shift, but she approached it with the same passion she had for wedding planning.

Christina found a balance she hadn’t known was possible in her new role. She worked from home, allowing her to spend mornings with her son and keep her evenings and weekends free for family time. The skills she honed as a wedding planner translated seamlessly into her new position, where her organizational prowess and calm demeanor shone.

As Christina settled into this new chapter, she felt fulfilled. She hadn’t abandoned her entrepreneurial spirit; she had simply redirected it. Her journey was a testament to the power of choice and the freedom to adapt, proving that it’s never too late to redefine what success looks like.

The Sunk Cost Fallacy: Knowing When to Pivot

Christina’s story is a perfect example of overcoming the sunk cost fallacy—a psychological trap where we continue a course of action simply because we’ve already invested so much time, effort, or money into it. We’ve all been there, feeling obligated to stick with something because of what we’ve already put into it. But just because you’ve invested heavily in one path doesn’t mean you can’t choose a different, more fulfilling direction.

Recognizing the sunk cost fallacy can liberate you from feeling stuck. It allows you to make decisions based on what you want now and what will benefit you in the future, rather than clinging to past investments. This mindset shift can be incredibly freeing, helping you see that it’s okay to pivot and that doing so doesn’t mean you’ve failed—it means you’re choosing growth.

Conscious Decision-Making: Aligning Choices with Priorities

Making significant life changes isn’t as simple as feeling overwhelmed and deciding to pivot. These decisions arise when your current path no longer aligns with your core priorities. It’s about recognizing that what you’re doing no longer lines up with the plates you wish you were spinning. When this misalignment becomes clear, it’s time to reevaluate your choices.

This is precisely what happened with Christina. In a casual chat with a friend, she expressed her struggles and growing discontent with her career, which had once been her passion. Her friend mentioned a part-time executive assistant position, sparking the thought, “What if something could change?” This simple suggestion opened a new door for Christina, helping her see the possibility of aligning her work with her evolving personal priorities.

Career Transition: A New Chapter

When the idea of becoming an executive assistant was suggested to Christina, it piqued her interest. She felt she could step into this role with a clear vision and defined boundaries. This new role was appealing because it offered her the flexibility she desperately needed.

Christina became my executive assistant. She was articulate about her needs: morning time with her son and keeping late nights and weekends free for family. Having run her own wedding planning business, she was a pro at organizing and multitasking.

We set up a work-from-home arrangement for Christina long before it became the norm. She excelled in this part-time position, managing her tasks efficiently in concentrated spurts. This allowed her to have ample time for her family. She welcomed her daughter soon after and also cared for her ailing father. While it wasn’t a full-time role, it was a substantial part-time job that let her balance her career and personal life seamlessly, contributing to her family’s finances and engaging in work she was passionate about.

Continued Evolution: The Power of Ongoing Choices

Fast forward about eight years, and Christina found herself at another crossroads. Her kids were heading off to school, and she started to feel like she wasn’t fulfilling her potential. Despite her talent and success, she felt an internal push to do more.

Christina decided to pursue further education, taking online classes to earn a master’s degree in healthcare administration. She took control of her destiny by balancing her role as my executive assistant and leading a team of other assistants. With her new degree in hand, she transitioned to running an online corporate education program for 8,000 employees, showcasing her ability to evolve and thrive in her career continuously.

Conscious Choices and Growth: Redefining Success

Christina’s journey was a series of conscious decisions. She made three significant choices: stepping out of her thriving wedding planning business, transitioning from the executive assistant role, and stepping into a new career based on her acquired skills. Her evolution wasn’t a series of concessions but deliberate choices reflecting her priorities and growth mindset.

Christina’s story demonstrates that few things in life are irreversible. What may appear as concessions to outsiders are, in reality, strategic choices that allow you to prioritize what truly matters. Her evolution was marked by conscious decisions, showing that very few things in life can’t be undone or redone differently if we have the mindset to grow and evolve. At the moment, choices might look like concessions to outsiders, but if they allow you to do what matters most to you, they are not concessions at all. They are choices. Period.

What’s Next?

Stay tuned for Part 3, where we’ll dive into the consequences of the choices you make. We’ll explore how to navigate the results of your decisions and how to find peace in the outcomes, whether they are what you expected or something entirely different.